Dental Aggregate

Anyone who has tried to quit smoking understands just how difficult it really is, often with numerous setbacks and attempts to conquer the nicotine addiction that plagues them, once and for all. The Federal Government has issued new advice to prescribing doctors trying to help patients kick the smoking habit, recommending the anti-smoking drug Chantix as the best quit-smoking method. The new guidelines mention the psychiatric risks, depression and suicidal thoughts, but also say the popular Pfizer, Inc. drug is the most effective at helping people quit smoking.

Chantix has only been on the market since 2006, and “is somewhat better than other therapies; on the other hand, it appears to have more risks”, says Dr. Sidney Wolfe of the watchdog group Public Citizen.

The guidelines mention other options too, and highly recommend combining counseling and medication. Doctors are encouraged to talk to all smokers who want to quit about trying medication. The guidelines say doctors should consider asking about their patients’ psychiatric history before prescribing Chantix. Doctors also should monitor patients for changes in mood and behavior while on the drug.

Serious concerns about the effectiveness and safety of using Chantix arose after the tragic death of Texas musician, Carter Albrecht, in September 2007. Closely monitoring patients using Chantix to stop smoking, asking probing questions that require detailed responses rather than a Yes or No answer, not one patient in our office reported having any problems or difficulties while taking the drug.

Derek De Koff took Chantix to stop smoking, and shares his harrowing experience while on the drug. “I swallowed my first pill the next day before work. It was a beautiful fall morning, an almost obnoxiously cinematic day to turn over a new leaf. But by the time I was halfway to the office, I started to feel a slight nausea coming on. Of course, that is a common side effect, as are constipation, gas, vomiting, and changes in dreaming. These five symptoms were emblazoned in a large font on the patient-information sheet,” he writes.

“By night four, my dreams began to take on characteristics of a David Cronenberg movie. Every time I’d drift off, I’d dream that an invisible, malevolent entity was emanating from my air conditioner, which seemed to be rattling even more than usual. I’d nap for twenty minutes or so before bolting awake with an involuntary gasp. I had the uneasy sense that I wasn’t alone.“

Quitting “cold turkey” has not proven effective for many smokers, and people who are trying to kick the habit need the assurance that the method chosen will not only be effective, but is also safe for them to take.

Have you tried to quit smoking with Chantix? What has your personal experience been using this drug?

Tags: Basic Dental Care, Communication, In The News by D.A.
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Newsweek Magazine has an interesting article that discussed the upcoming documentary, Struggling in Silence, that will explore the dark side of the medical profession - the problem of depression and suicide amongst physicians.

The Newsweek article pointed out the true fact that between 300 to 400 doctors take their own lives every year. What I didn’t realize was that the suicide rate amongst male and female physicians are equal, whereas suicide rates among the general population shows males outnumber females four to one in suicide deaths.

Dr. Charles Reynolds, professor of psychiatry at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and making an appearance in the film (airing next month on public television channels), wrote in The Journal of the American Medical Association that “Undiagnosed and untreated depression is the culprit here”.

That raises this question: Why aren’t depressed doctors seeking treatment? The belief is that doctors are worried (and some believe it’s for very good reasons) about loss of respect, patient referrals, income and their medical license.

In order to raise greater awareness, prevent suffering and hopefully save lives, the new website “doctorswithdepression.org” is working hard to provide help and assistance to physicians, teaching doctors how to recognize depression in themselves and seek help.

Medical schools have launched programs that guarantee students seeking help for depression that it will not appear on their records. In addition to the documentary, an educational video called Out of the Silence: Medical Student Depression and Suicide was designed specifically as an educational tool for use at medical schools. Dr. Reynolds is quoted in the article as saying, “Get help, get well, stay well”.

The Struggling in Silence broadcast is being released in May 2008 for Mental Health Awareness Month by distributor American Public Television.

Tags: Basic Dental Care, Business Relationships, Communication, Continuing Ed, In The News, Productivity, endodontics by D.A.
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I had a long discussion with The Boss this week about why patients leave and don’t come back, and I think he finally “got it”, but time will tell. Over the last two years I have noticed a steady increase in the number of existing patients who I have had to Archive or put into the Inactive files, and The Boss was none too happy about it.

Fortunately I keep very good records and notes any time I archive a patient or an entire family, and doing so helped reduce the angry tone in his voice when he asked me, “Why isn’t the schedule being kept as full as it used to be?!”

I had to explain to the good doctor that patients haven’t been coming in for treatments, or for their 6-month checkup’s for several reasons, and some of those reasons we have no control over. His question is a valid one and I don’t fault him for wondering or asking me about it since I’m the one responsible for keeping the schedule full of patients. I am not a magician and I cannot pull patients out of a hat and make them suddenly appear in our office to get their teeth cleaned or complete any other treatments. While the Hygienist’s schedule remains full at all times, there have been days where The Boss has zero patients scheduled for anything, and it bothers me just as much as it bothers him.

Why Patients Leave and Don’t Come Back

The number one reason patients leave and don’t come back is because they have moved away, with the majority of them moving to another state in order to have a job. Many of our previous patients worked for a large local corporation that completely dissolved, with thousands of workers being let go and desperately seeking another job wherever they could find one. Patient after patient called to ask if we knew a good dentist in their new location, or if we had recommendations on how to find a good dentist, since they hadn’t the chance to get to know very many people yet.

The number two reason for patients leaving is because we don’t offer what they want. Patients have heard all the buzz on the radio and television about Invisalign, one-day restorations with the CERAC machines, ZOOM whitening, etc. We don’t do root canals anymore, nor do we perform even a simple extraction, but patients are referred out for these treatments. Some patients have complained that we don’t offer these treatments anymore, and have elected to begin seeing a dentist that provides all of these treatments and more, all in one central location. We’re left with doing teeth cleanings, fillings, crowns, veneers, dentures and partials, and the occasional teeth whitening home-care kit using the Opalescence bleaching system.

The third reason is because patients have no idea what all we do, and what cosmetic choices they have available to them to enhance their smile. Some patients have come in for their regular checkup, and we’ve discovered they had gotten anterior veneers done at another dental office saying, “I didn’t know you do veneers”. Patients sometimes will call and talk to me about how they aren’t happy with having discolored teeth, and when I’ve suggested teeth whitening or even coming in for a consultation to discuss veneers, The Boss gets upset at me because he “doesn’t like” the patient and would prefer they go elsewhere. This week we had a patient who was getting his teeth cleaned and the Hygienist determined three old crowns needed to be redone due to recurrent decay, and The Boss got mad because he doesn’t want to do the crowns. The patient was referred to a Prosthodontist instead. Sigh…

Here I am doing everything within my power to bring patients in, fill the schedule and increase production, and he’s going to get mad at me because there’s a personality clash? Damned if I do, and damned if I don’t. What good does it do me to keep up with the latest dental technology and advancements, regularly reading dental magazines, taking hours upon hours of continuing ed courses in order to stay on top of everything going on in the dental industry, only to have The Boss shoot down everything I try to do for his office?! To say that I’ve grown disillusioned with my job is an enormous understatement.

The fourth reason patients have left is because their insurance changed and we don’t take it. Some patients have chosen an insurance plan that requires them to see a contracted In-Network dentist on their list, and if they were to see a dentist not found on the list, they are not given any benefits whatsoever or benefits are greatly reduced to the point where treatments are not financially possible for patients. This hasn’t been a problem for the majority of our patients, but it has put a real dent into our existing patient database, as I’ve had to archive those patients who left due to insurance reasons.

The fifth reason patients have left, and I believe this is the most important one, is that patients don’t think we care about them. Some of our existing patients have been with us since The Boss’ father was in practice, and chose to stay with us when he retired back in the late 80’s. The problem is, many of these patients are now elderly and their health has declined to the point where they are unable to come in on a regular basis anymore. Several of our elderly patients have passed away over the last year or two, but the great majority of existing and new patients are much younger.

One of the things that I always admired about The Boss when I first began working for him nearly twenty years ago, was how the dental practice felt like a big family. Whenever we’d be working on a male patient, there were always general discussions about sports, fishing and hunting, and that sort of conversation. The ladies would discuss their children or grandchildren, what was going on in the political arena, but things have changed where these discussions aren’t happening so much anymore. The Boss tends to focus more attention now on the clinical aspect of treatment and getting the job done, rather than spending those extra few moments to really connect with the patient on a more personal level.

I’ve begun to wonder if The Boss has lost much of his passion for his own career, which has subsequently rubbed off on me to where I now dread going to work each day. What used to be fun and challenging has morphed into monotony, and I truly believe I could do much of my job blindfolded. The Boss claims he doesn’t have interest in retiring for another ten years, but from what I’m seeing going on in our office, I’m thinking that his retirement may happen much sooner than that.

Tags: Basic Dental Care, Business Relationships, Communication, Continuing Ed, Dental Assisting, Dental Insurance, Dental Practice Management, Productivity, endodontics by D.A.
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Being in close proximity with female patients seeking treatment, dental office professionals have a unique and important role in identifying cases of domestic violence, as well as offering assistance or intervention for abused women.

It is important to note that almost a third of all women are or have been abused by their boyfriend or husband, possibly including the women you have working for you in your dental office. Anastasia L. Turchetta, RDH, and Teresa Duncan, MS have published “Domestic Violence” in the RDH Magazine that is well worth your time to review and print for further evaluation. If you are a Dentist, and you have more than three women working for you, the odds are that at least one of those women has been a victim of domestic violence at some point in her life.

“Domestic Violence: Proactive Role for Dentistry” provides important intervention strategies for dental practitioners; clears up myths surrounding domestic violence; and explains the signs and symptoms of domestic abuse that Dentists and Office Staff need to look out for:

Dentists can, and should, be proactive in recognizing abuse and reaching out to help the victims. The first step in helping these women is to consciously empathize with them and their needs. Women do not stay in violent relationships because they enjoy it or are able to tolerate it. Survivors talk about their horror, helplessness, and terror as they tried to endure the violence. Fear of losing their children, fear of being killed, financial instability, and rejection by their friends and family are examples of the realities that prevent victims from leaving an abusive partner. The most dangerous time for a woman is when she actually decides to leave an abusive relationship.

“Tackling Domestic Violence: the role of health professionals” is available in a 15-page PDF file at http://www.homeoffice.gov.uk/rds/pdfs04/dpr32.pdf, so Dentists and dental office staff can carefully examine the ways in which they can work together as a team and provide needed help and awareness to victims of domestic abuse.

Having been in an abusive relationship myself (at the hands of my ex-husband), I am very passionate about bringing greater awareness to women who are being abused, and there have been several occasions in our office where it has been necessary to use a variety of assertive techniques to assist these women in getting the help they needed.

Signs and symptoms of abusive relationships:

• Physical abuse or battering- involving shoving, pushing, kicking, hitting, grabbing, pulling hair and threatening bodily harm.

• Emotional or psychological abuse- including controlling a woman’s freedom to come and go as she pleases, brainwashing, spying or stalking her at work or with friends, monitoring phone calls.

• Sexual abuse or rape- physically forcing or coercing sexual favors against her will or with threat of violence if she does not comply, sexual acts following physical violence with or without harmful and painful devices without her consent.

• Damaging property- involving breaking household items, damaging walls, throwing objects at his victim or near enough to cause great fear of physical harm while in a rage.

In order to break free from their abusive partners, women need to identify and recognize the early warning signs of abusive behaviors, and take active steps to leave the relationship with their boyfriend or get a divorce from their husband.

Leaving an abusive relationship is typically a highly volatile time in a woman’s life, as angry and controlling men tend to react with increased levels of abuse, sometimes even killing their wives or girlfriends. Dentists and dental team members need to be proactive with female patients who show signs of having been abused, offering compassionate and empathetic attention, tactfully quizzing female patients regarding possible abuse, and provide helpful information and resources of how and where to seek immediate help.

More often than not, abused women do not have free access to money in order to quickly leave their abusive husbands, and they need to learn how to hide money from an abusive husband so they can begin making secret plans to escape the abuse and move on with their lives.

In your dental office, have you had occasions where you suspected or believed a female patient was being abused by her husband? What actions have you taken in order to provide her assistance and help? What suggestions can you offer women that need to know how to hide money from an abusive husband? Please leave any experiences, suggestions or ideas in the comment section below.

Tags: Basic Dental Care, Communication, Continuing Ed, Dental Assisting, Dental Practice Management, Office Manager by D.A.
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Dental Assistant Recognition Week starts tomorrow, March 3-7 2008. What will you do to acknowledge and recognize the dental assistants in your office? Do you make special note of the holiday, and express sincere appreciation for the good work she or he provides for your office and patients?

Many dental offices and staff members celebrate Boss’ Day, so it’s reasonable to think that dentists can and should acknowledge the hard-working assistants and front desk staff each year as well. Without their efforts to help in providing excellent dental care for your patients, as well as working together as a team to assist you in reaching goals set for the practice, where would you be?

How can you celebrate dental assistant recognition week?

A handwritten note or store-bought card expressing your sincere gratitude and appreciation for their hard work is always nice.

Taking them out for lunch, and verbally expressing your thanks is also an idea. My boss actually makes dinner reservations for one evening after work, where we can relax and enjoy a nice meal and talk like friends do rather than discussing anything about the practice. Making it a dinner celebration is especially nice since there isn’t the usual lunchtime rush to get back to the office in time for the afternoon patients.

What are you going to do this coming week to thank your dental assistant(s) for all they do for you and your office?

Tags: Business Relationships, Communication, Dental Assisting, Dental Practice Management by D.A.
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There are times in everyone’s life where we must interact with people that are difficult to get along with, whether in personal relationships or in our professional lives. Dealing with difficult people in a way that not only displays self-confidence and respect for our own needs and personal boundaries, but also respects the wishes and rights of others is what assertiveness is all about.

Examples of Aggressive and Assertive Communication Styles

There are occasions in our office where a patient (usually a brand new patient), is rather gruff and rude in how they attempt to communicate with me at the front desk, not realizing or caring that I am the Office Manager in charge of the efficient running of the office, as well as the doctor‘s chair-side assistant.

Sometimes they will complain to me about the extensive health history forms they must fill out as a new patient, rudely asking if I “want their blood type and serial number too?“, along with complaints about the HIPAA consent forms that we must keep in each patients chart. Some patients call to respectfully ask about things to consider when choosing dental insurance, while others go so far as to call with demands that I find affordable dental insurance FOR them!

On other occasions, some patients will actually blame me for their missing an appointment, claiming that I did not call and remind them the day prior to their appointment. Being assertive, I respectfully request the patient go back and check their voice-mail messages where, low and behold….there is my reminder message.

Using assertive techniques, I explain to the patient that appointment reminder calls are provided as a courtesy for our patients (and are not a requirement), and that it is up to each patient to do whatever is necessary to remember and show up for their scheduled appointments, and on time. More often than not, these patients immediately begin to “back peddle” in their tone of voice, but rarely take the time to apologize for being so aggressive towards me.

It often amazes me just how rude some people are, aggressively demanding an appointment where there is no open time slot, and are none too happy when I kindly suggest another day and time. Other times patients will call asking to speak with the doctor about a question or problem they are having, and don’t appreciate my saying “the doctor is with a patient right now, perhaps I can help you?”, sometimes being so rude as to hang up the phone without saying another word.

How To Be Assertive Without Being Aggressive

Fortunately, the doctor does not take kindly to patients speaking and acting with rude and aggressive behavior towards him or his staff. Each and every time a patient behaves this way towards him or any member of his staff, we immediately take assertive action to rectify the situation in a manner that shows respect for the rights and self esteem of the patient, but also upholds our own personal right to be treated equally and with respect.

Sometimes he personally handles these situations, directly speaking with patients who are rude and abusive towards his staff, but more often than not I am entrusted with this responsibility as his Office Manager. On most occasions, using a variety of assertive techniques learned over the years has proven to be very effective in completely eliminating these problems.

On rare occasions, the doctor or I have found it necessary to dismiss a patient from the dental practice entirely, due to their continued abusive and rude behaviors, providing them a copy of their patient chart and x-rays while they try to find a dentist to care for their dental needs.

Have you experienced the difficulties that go with dealing with difficult people? Do you sometimes find it difficult to be assertive in your personal and professional roles? What steps have you taken in your office to ensure everyone is treated equally and with respect?

Tags: Business Relationships, Communication, Dental Assisting, Dental Insurance, Dental Practice Management, Office Manager, Productivity by D.A.
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Many patients are afraid to go to the dentist and have treatment done due to fear of local anesthetics and getting numbed up, often foregoing needed dental treatment for many years until dental caries or severely broken teeth become virtually non-restorable.

Nearly every new patient coming to our dental office expresses fear and anxiety over getting numbed up, but once they have completed necessary treatment, they no longer are afraid. One of my favorite things as Office Manager and Dental Assistant is being able to help relax patients prior to treatment, helping them understand the need for a particular dental procedure, but also to find ways to help patients accept treatment with affordable options. I’ve also enjoyed being able to honestly tell patients that they will likely not even feel the injection due to the topical gel we now use, and other patients have commented on how well this numbing gel works.

Topical Anesthetic Gel-

Many dental offices apply some kind of topical anesthetic gel to the gums prior to giving the injection of local anesthetic, but after many years of searching for the best numbing gel on the market, we finally found one that works better than any other dental gel. Since we began using this topical anesthetic on patients, even new patients are no longer reluctant to have dental treatment completed.

The topical anesthetic gel we are now using in our office contains 100mg Lidocaine, 100mg Prilocaine and 40mg Tetracaine which comes already mixed by a Pharmacist and ready for use in a 30gm tube. Placing a small dab on the tip of a cotton swab applicator, and applying the numbing gel to the gum area for just a couple brief minutes, numbs the injection site so much that the patient often does not feel the injection at all.

It makes me incredibly happy to see patients who used to be very nervous and apprehensive prior to dental appointments, come in for treatment no longer fearing getting numbed up. When we first received the topical anesthetic gel in our office, both the doctor and I tested to see how well it worked on ourselves, and we were both shocked and amazed at how quickly the gel works to numb the gums. We of course had a little fun teasing each other while we talked about this gel, since it was obvious to both of us that it works so well and so fast, that it took awhile to wear off and we began speaking normally again.

I’m not even sure where the doctor heard about this numbing gel, but we have found it beats all the other anesthetic gel products on the market, and wouldn’t even consider using anything else. If your dental office is searching for the best topical gel available, please contact me for further information.

Tags: Anesthesia, Basic Dental Care, Communication, Dental Assisting, Dental Practice Management, Office Manager by D.A.
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I often wish there were a clearer, more defined explanation of what Dental Practice Management involves, especially when it comes to the duties and responsibilities of a Dental Office Manager. I have carried that title in our Dental Office for many years, and yet continue to find numerous examples of dental offices who have completely different definitions and duties associated with this title.

In our Dental Office, I often find myself feeling very much like a Professional Juggler, due to the wide variety of responsibilities I hold in my position. I’m not strictly the Dental Office Manager, but I juggle several different titles and duties during the course of each day, that even I don’t know what exactly my title should be. Jokingly, I sometimes refer to myself as “The everything, everywhere person”, because I’m usually “changing hats” several times a day and if I’m not there every day the office closes; literally. (More about that in coming posts)

Not only do I carry the title of Office Manager, but I’m also the Dental Assistant; X-ray Tech; Sterilization/OSHA Manager; Recall Coordinator; Receptionist; Dental Insurance Coordinator; Patient Advocate; Appointment Scheduler, Accounts Receivable Manager, and the Emergency On-Call person during weekends. I’m sure there are a few more “titles” I could throw in, but I think you get the idea. I manage the Front Desk and everything associated with it, Assist the Doctor with procedures, take and process X-rays, help our Part-time Hygienist with any number of things in order to keep the normal daily flow going. And somehow manage to keep the schedule full of patients for the Doctor and the Hygienist, all at the same time.

I guess it isn’t any wonder why I sometimes feel frustration when leaving at the end of the day, knowing there were return phone calls to patients that I didn’t have time to make, letters to other doctors still needing to be typed and mailed, phone calls to insurance companies to inquire why a claim was denied, and so much more. I simply cannot fully complete all the aspects of my responsibilities during the course of a day, or even a full week, because there is always so much I haven’t literally had time to get to.

I try not to allow myself to become frustrated, and even depressed at times, about the responsibilities I carry as a, well…you pick the title. But every time I’m assisting the doctor and the phone starts ringing at the front desk, I feel a twinge of guilt that patients are not able to reach me easily to schedule an appointment or ask a question about treatment. After completing treatment on a patient, and cleaning and sterilizing the room, taking payment from the patient or submitting the insurance claim, I then have barely a few minutes to check for voice-mails and return their calls because the doctor is waiting for me to assist him on the next patient.

If I could choose one title, one position with clearly defined duties and responsibilities, one job that I would want to have, it would be that as a REAL Dental Office Manager. Unfortunately, I don’t think the doctor really knows what a dental office manager does. Take away the Chair-side Assisting (unless needed in a pinch), as that position is not the one that really makes me tick. What really gets my juices flowing is the interaction with the patients; discussing treatment options with patients; helping them to understand the need for treatment; providing affordable payment plans and options; and helping patients to feel more at ease and comfortable the moment they walk through the door, and doing everything possible to take the best care of our patients, and continue to work together as a team for the benefit of our patients.

Tags: Basic Dental Care, Business Relationships, Communication, Dental Insurance, Dental Practice Management, Personal, Productivity by D.A.
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I feel fortunate that, in our dental office, there has rarely been a situation where office gossip has taken place, since the affect of gossip often destroys personal and business relationships and creates so much tension in the air, you could almost cut it with a knife. On the rare occasion that office gossip began to rear its ugly head, typically with new employees without much sense, the tendency was quickly nipped in the bud by having a private meeting with the culprit. More often than not this method worked well, but there have been a couple of occasions where the gossip had to be put to a stop by firing the repeat offender.

Our office is rather small, with only the Doctor, me and one part-time Hygienist, so the chances of in office gossip is now rather low. We also get along very well, and have established close friendships, so I can’t even imagine what it might be like for others working in offices where gossip runs rampant.

There have been a couple of occasions over the years where there has been a personality clash, or one employee trying to Lord-it-over another employee, but those are quickly resolved with assertive and frank discussion.

My co-worker is the Doctor’s sister, and there have been a couple of occasions over the years where she has attempted to play the role of “boss” over me, and tried to tell me how to do my job even though she has no concept of what all I do, since she’s only there two days a week.

If she were to sit down in front of the computer to schedule an appointment for a patient while I am busy assisting the doctor, she ultimately has to come and get me because she doesn’t know how to use the dental software program we use. It’s not that she hasn’t been shown repeatedly how to use the Easy Dental Program, it’s just that she works in three different offices and of course forgets after awhile of non-use.

It makes sense and is reasonable that she would not be able to remember such things, and I don’t get upset about it. She’s the Hygienist, there to clean patients teeth and take their x-rays etc, not handle my responsibilities as Front Office Manager and Dental Assistant to the doctor.

Negative Gossip Hurts Everyone-

I believe there is a difference between good-gossip vs. negative-gossip. To mention to someone else some good news about a co-workers upcoming Birthday, Anniversary or Promotion for example, although considered to be “gossip”, I believe is expressing positive communication that builds others up, is harmless and shows we care about the other person and want to share in their happy and joyous moments.

However, negative gossip, back-stabbing, hurtful comments amongst co-workers is detrimental to the entire office, not just the victim of gossip. The atmosphere within the office amongst co-workers and staff is disrupted, often causing arguments and hurt feelings that never forgotten.

Offices and employers should maintain Zero Tolerance for In-Office Gossip Policy, subsequently firing anyone who breaks the office policy. This is the policy we have in our office, and it has worked well for us as a whole and it can work well for yours too.

Tags: Business Relationships, Communication, Productivity by D.A.
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Have you ever wondered why men and women communicate differently? Have you found it to be a struggle to get along with those of the opposite sex within the work place due to misunderstandings and disagreements? Learning how to communicate effectively with the opposite sex in personal and business relationships is one of the greatest commodities you possess. Relationships between companies and their customers; doctors with their patients and staff; management with their employees; co-worker to co-worker, is at the heart of any successful business.

Discovering the differences in how men and women think, speak and make decisions, has a profound affect on getting patients to accept treatment plans; companies finalizing the sale; improving productivity between bosses and their staff; co-worker to co-worker relationships, for the benefit of everyone involved. Ask yourself, What makes your company a great one? What makes your company or office stand out from the rest? If you’re thinking that it’s the high-tech gadgets or fancy office layout, you’d be wrong. It’s you! It’s the people that make the difference between a good company and a phenomenal company.

Psychologist and Humorist Bruce Christopher presented an informative seminar at the Southwest Dental Conference in Dallas, Texas entitled “Why Are Women So Strange and Men So Weird?”. Bruce is one of the most sought after Speakers in the Fortune 500 and in many other prestigious organizations. Combining humor and wit, convention-goers were provided useful tips regarding the need to understand and respect the differences between men and women in relation to personal and business relationships, thus opening a window of opportunity to better resolve differences that often occur. Great communicators are people who change their approach based upon the person they are talking to.

• Men and women THINK differently

• Men and women SPEAK differently

• Men and women DECIDE differently

If you are not aware of these differences, you will not be an effective communicator when dealing with your opposite sex colleagues, customers and teammates. Bruce explained how men think COMPARTMENTALLY and women think GLOBALLY.

What is the difference between compartmental and global thinking?

Men and women store information and file away data in their cognitive memory banks very differently. Men tend to open and close “drawers” needed for the immediate moment, much like a file-cabinet-drawer system, staying exclusively in that compartment where nothing else exists except for what is in that one compartment, such as:

• Work

• Hobbies

• Wife

• Sex

Women, on the other hand, tend to do the complete opposite and connect things up, seeing life more globally and how details have underlying and interrelated connections more clearly than men do. It can be quite interesting to sit in a staff meeting and compare how men focus on the end objective, thinking in terms of Product Decision Making, and see how one underlying bit of information can swing the end result due to a woman‘s Process Decision Making. Both ways of thinking, compartmental and global, are great ways to think, with their own inherent strengths and weaknesses. Put them both together on the same team, or in the same relationship, things start getting very interesting.

How do men and women speak differently?

Men speak in short clipped phrases with little or no details (often very frustrating for women), whereas women speak in paragraphs, using an interpersonal style presented in a narrative fashion, giving lots of story-like details. Men want and need the “bottom line” first, maybe followed by adding some details, whereas women will tell a story with lots of details, leaving the bottom line for the end of the story (often frustrating for men). To effectively communicate with someone of the opposite sex, in your personal or career relationships, you must change your approach.

On average, it has been estimated that men speak 12,500 words in a given day and women speak about 25,500 words in a day. Thus comes the old joke about a man going to work and using up 12,495 words and coming home with only five words left! When he arrives home from work he says, “What’s for dinner?” (that’s three) and “Good night” (that’s five!). Dr. Debra Tannen, a linguist and author on the subject, says men and women communicate for different reasons. Men communicate to report facts, while women communicate to build rapport. This mismatch of Report-Talk vs. Rapport-Talk can greatly increase the friction and tension in interpersonal relationships with those of the opposite sex, in the work place and personal lives.

Take for example the situation where a wife asks her husband, “How was your day?” when arriving home from work. The husband answers the bottom-line: “Fine” - which is male code for “nobody died and I still have a job; what else could you possibly want to know?” The wife of course is hoping for a more narrative rendering with some details, and when she doesn’t get them she may begin to complain, “He never tells me anything. I have no idea what is going on in his life”.

At work, men and women also speak different languages. Ladies, have you tried speaking with a male colleague in story-telling narratives, and you begin to notice his eyes begin to glaze over?” It’s not a problem of his not caring about what you’re saying, it’s just that he cannot hear you because you are speaking a foreign language to him. In order to bridge the communication gap between men and women, you must change your approach.

It has been estimated that in a single day, the average office person wastes up to 38% of their day dealing with communication problems in the office environment. One study suggests that up to 70% of what you say to someone of the opposite sex is either misunderstood or not heard at all. By making yourself keenly aware of the different male and female voices you can effectively increase performance and productivity in the work place.

How do men and women decide things differently?

Another way that men and women speak in different languages, creating a massive communication gap between men and women, is how we ask for things we want or need. Women have been taught since childhood to use “hint language” when asking for something she wants or needs. This may manifest itself in the form of a question, raising her shoulders as if she doesn’t know the answer to her question. Wife may turn to husband and say, “Wouldn’t it be nice to go and see a movie tonight?”. Of course, this is her way of saying “I want to go and see a movie tonight”, but unfortunately men often do not get the hint. This is due to the fact that “hint language” is not a part of a man’s language style, since men tend to take language very literally, focusing on the content of the message instead of hidden meanings. Given the question above, “Wouldn’t it be nice to go see a movie tonight”?, a man just might answer with an affirmative “No”, leaving the woman to wonder if her husband or partner even cares about what she wants or needs. Ladies, change your approach, by clearly stating the bottom line of what you want or need instead of dropping hints.

Things men can do:

• Increase the amount of details

• Give more background and content

• Remember that women talk to build rapport-connections

• Ask questions and listen, allow the story to evolve to the bottom line

• While listening, maintain eye contact, nod your head, be attentive and give verbal signals such as “Uh-huh”, “Really?”, “Are you kidding?”

• Increase non-verbal excellence by trying to read between the lines of what is being said vs. what is meant, picking up some of the hints she may be dropping for you.

Things women can do:

• Give the bottom line first

• Resist the thought that he needs the background and story-like context. After giving him the bottom line, pause a moment and then ask if he would like more details. Try it and you might just find the men in your life remembering what you say more effectively.

• Avoid speaking in hint language. Try and remember that men often do not get the hint; they hear a question needing an answer. Be direct, using “I want” or “I need” - try not to expect men to guess or read your mind about what you are saying. Women who have become excellent leaders, have learned the art of assertive and respectful communication without sounding bossy or aggressive. Remember, when it comes to closing the communication gap between men and women, delivery is everything.

For more information about Bruce Christopher’s seminars, tapes and books, contact:
Bruce Christopher Seminars at www.bcseminars.com

Tags: Business Relationships, Communication, Continuing Ed, Productivity by D.A.
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